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about

For the first time, a collection from Brad Bru that is purely fun and funny songs! This collection bounces around genres from singalongs like "She Uses Public Transportation" and "PSA: Watch Your Language" (AKA "You can call anyone an a******"), to the scathing punk of "Status Update This, Jerks!!", to the sweet soulful lovin' of "Walrus Love Song", to the cautionary tale "Some Things Do Not Belong in Our Mouths", to the forgotten standard "Chop My Hand Off", to the Meatloaf-esque bombast of "The Wings of an Eagle".

credits

released July 6, 2018

Featuring:
Brad Bru - Vocals and Guitar
John Szymanski - Bass and Keys
Packy Lundholm - Drums and Guitar Solo on "She Uses Public Transportation"
Patrick Martin - 2nd Guitar
Beth Lach - Voice and Walrus Noises

Engineered, mixed and mastered by John Szymanski.
Produced by Brad Bru and John Szymanski.

Photo by Oomphotography.

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about

Brad Bru & The Crowd Goes Wild Chicago, Illinois

This band brings together the richness of acoustic music, the charm of alt-country and the energy of melodic punk. Whether playing distorted power chords or fingerpicking crisply, the songs whiz past and make the listener wonder what hit 'em. With witty and relatable lyrics, performances offer neurotic sincerity, balancing humor with darkness. ... more

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Track Name: She Uses Public Transportation
There’s only one way / She gets around
She uses public transportation
The Belmont bus / Goes by her house
She uses public transportation

Don’t take a taxi / Don’t ride a bike
She uses public transportation
Don’t own a car / Cuz what she likes
Is using public transportation

She don’t call the bus “the shame train”
No complaints about the L
In this city no one needs a car
Cuz the CTA is really swell

And I don’t mind / If she’s delayed
She uses public transportation
And she don’t mind / If I’m delayed
Cuz I use public transportation, too

She don’t call the bus “the shame train”
No complaints about the L
In this city no one needs a car
Cuz the CTA is really swell
...The CTA is really swell

And when it’s freezing / And when it’s warm
She uses public transportation
And when it’s sunny / And when it storms
She uses public transportation

Ba-dop, ba-dop, bop! Ba-dop, ba-dop
She uses public transportation
Ba-dop, ba-dop, bop! Ba-dop, ba-dop
She uses public transportation
Track Name: Some Things Do Not Belong in Our Mouths
I wasn't even cautious...I just dove right in
It didn't seem such a bad idea when I thought of it
But the way that I was gagging...I thought that I'd throw up
When I used my ex-girlfriend's toothbrush

(solo)

Ever since we broke up...it has sat untouched
We shared a lot of fluids...so it shouldn't matter much
I had it if she came back...it'd been over a month
When I used my ex-girlfriend's toothbrush
Track Name: Status Update This, Jerks!!
For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
For every vacant smile / There are irritated sighs
For every bubbly comment / There are cynical replies
And for every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes

No one cares you’re married / No one cares you got engaged
Neither of you questioning / the future or your age
Diamonds and white dresses / plaster every profile page
We all think you’re crazy / but at least you’re gettin' laid

For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
You’re dancing on the backs of broken-hearted girls and guys
When it doesn’t work out we’ll pretend to act surprised
For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes

You can call it pregnant / We call it knocked up
You can say you love each other / That just means you’re stuck
We live in the city / Where we couldn’t give a f***
And you live in the suburbs / Where it’s either...

For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
When you flaunt that s*** on Facebook / Know you truly are despised
But we all keep our silence hoping you will realize
That for every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes

Now you’re having problems / We don’t f***ing care
Pester us on G-Chat / Saying life just isn’t fair
Twenty screaming toddlers / And a spouse who’s never there
So don’t ask how we really feel / Cuz it sounds like a dare

For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
The only two oblivious to one another’s lies
You really thought you’d be together til one of you died? HA!
For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
For every happy couple / There’s a hundred rolling eyes
Track Name: Walrus Love Song
Won'tcha slide on over here witcha big ol’ blubber butt
Won'tcha slide on over here witcha big ol’ blubber butt
From your whiskers to your flippers
From your tail to your tusks
You’re the only walrus I could ever love
Track Name: PSA: Watch Your Language
The following is a public service announcement…for men:

Gentleman! It’s time to make a switch
I know that I’m not normally this blunt
But if you are a man...Then these words are hereby banned(!):
One rhymes with pitch / And the other rhymes with bunt
You might be mad at him or her / But, please, avoid the sexist words.....Oh!

You can call anyone an a******
You can call anyone a jerk
You can call ‘em “moron” or even “idiot”
You can call ‘em “butthead” or a “worthless piece of s***”
And you can call anyone an a******

Sirs!...I’ve a feeling in my gut
Much like the one I just expressed before
If there’s a gender feud
Please hold the attitude
Don’t call her words…that rhyme with shut or door
Let’s all work as a team to say the words we really mean.....Oh!

You can call anyone an a******
You can call anyone a jerk
You can call ‘em “moron” or even “idiot”
You can call ‘em “butthead” or a “worthless piece of s***”
And you can call anyone an a******

You might think it’s wrong / Dunnit worry! Sing along!.....Oh!

You can call anyone an a******
You can call anyone a jerk
You can call ‘em “moron” or even “idiot”
You can call ‘em “butthead” or a “worthless piece of s***”
And you can call anyone an a******
Track Name: Chop My Hand Off
If you died, the thing I’d miss
Wouldn’t be your tender kiss
No, the single, biggest hole
Would be the hand I couldn’t hold

I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you-you-you
Take this appendage to the grave
I only need one hand to wave!
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you

If I died, just one request
It’s your hand I love the best
So chop it off, it’s mine to claim
Because I swear I’d do…the…same

I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you-you-you
I swear I only need the one
I’d give four fingers and a thumb!
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you

Our love would be intact forever
When both our hands stay clasped together
You’d be gone, but I’d think of you often
There’d always be a part of me…in your coffin

I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with you-you-you
Wedding rings are tried and true
But you gave your hand in marriage, too!
I’d…chop my hand off just to stay with
Chop my hand off just to stay with
Chop my hand off just to stay with you
Track Name: The Wings of an Eagle
She's been crying
She's been trying so hard but she's got to admit her hope is dying
So she's been crying

She's been coping
She's been moping and telling her mother that she thinks her daughter's broken
But she's been coping

She's been dreaming of someone, someone who's bald
She's been craving some talons, a dick and two balls
(She needs a...)

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Red and blue and white
He's a willy with wings...He has feathers and things
To make a woman feel all right

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Can make her loins take flight
He has patriot parts
That will open her heart
And in all likelihood her thighs

She's been dating
She's been waiting for someone better than the men she's been fellating
Yeah, she's been waiting

She's been praying
She's been saving herself for the loving of a certain type of avian
Yeah, she's been praying

She will not abide any flightless dicks
Cuz she doesn’t have time for penguin pricks
(Mama told her that a...)

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Is the one she's hoping for
He is downy and soft
But he likes playing rough
Cuz he's just come back from war

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Is tattooed with stars and stripes
He's a phallus with feathers
And they'll be together
For the best night of her life

And one steamy evening, her wish came true
Cross your fingers and toes and he might come for you
He only cares if your willing...not if your cute
And he's got a flagpole you'll wanna salute

(solo)

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Is soaring through the sky
So don't be a bimbo ... Baby, open your window
And he'll visit you tonight

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Wiener warrior of the night
I hate to be blunt
But he's been fighting for country
You should f*** him to be nice

Penis with the wings of an eagle
Killed a terrorist with his dong
You should get on your knees...cuz he's free of disease...

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